Navigating conversations with children about war, conflict and other
traumatic events
[March 05, 2026]
By CHEYANNE MUMPHREY
Children living through the latest war in the Middle East or seeing
images of the conflict may need help making sense of events that many
adults find unnerving. Exposure to war, even if it is indirect, can
affect how kids think, feel and behave, according to mental health
experts.
Child psychologists and development specialists encourage parents to
check in with their children, make time for age-appropriate
conversations and to correct misinformation without going into excessive
detail.
“Sometimes adults think if they don't talk about something that is
difficult, than it doesn't exist. But we know that's not the reality in
children's lives,” said Rebecca Smith, the global head of child
protection at Save the Children, an international aid and advocacy
organization. “Ignoring or avoiding the topic of conflict can lead to
children feeling lost, alone and scared. ... It is essential to have
open and honest conversations with children to help them process what is
happening."
Below are suggestions for having conversations with children about war
and its impacts.
Create a safe space, then listen and validate feelings
Experts recommend starting with what a child might know about what is
happening in Ukraine, Gaza, Iran, Israel, Sudan or other parts of the
world before attempting to address any feelings of fear, sadness, anger
or anxiety.
Some children may not know that fighting has escalated between the
United States and Israel on one side and Iran and its proxies on the
other. Other kids may be more aware than their families realize and
suppress their emotions. Children visiting or living in Middle Eastern
countries directly impacted will have seen weapons light up the sky and
may know people killed or have to leave their homes.
“For some children where missiles are now visible in the skies, this
might be an entirely new and terrifying experience," Smith said. “When
events like this happen, they disrupt a child and family’s sense of
safety. What once felt stable and secure may suddenly feel uncertain.”
To help children work through their emotions, the trusted adults in
their lives also need to take care of themselves, according to experts.
Guidance from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network says adults
sharing their own feelings with children can be an opportunity to convey
personal beliefs and values about how to treat others. The key is to not
assume what children might be thinking or feeling.
If children do not want to talk or are not ready, experts suggest adults
remain patient and tell children they are there for them.
“It is necessary to respect child’s ability to refuse communication,
their ability not to talk or not to tell about something. Because they
can have their own feelings, their own states, which they might not want
to share," child psychologist Nataliia Sosnovenko said, speaking in
Ukrainian. Sosnovenko works with Voices of Children, a Ukrainian
organization that provides psychological support and documents
children's experiences in the country during the yearslong war with
Russia.
Some children might share what they have seen or heard, how they feel or
ask questions when given an opportunity. Experts say this is when adults
should validate their feelings and address what's happening honestly
while taking their ages and maturity levels into account.
Let their age guide the conversation
The American Psychological Association recommends giving kids basic,
age-appropriate information about war and conflict, and addressing any
upsetting images, headlines or conversations they were exposed to
without going into details that might make them unnecessarily anxious.
But ultimately, parents know their children best, experts say.
Families who have loved ones in the region may need to take the extra
time to discuss the safety of their relatives and friends, and the
difficulty of uncertainty. Families in the region themselves may need to
have a plan in place for what to do if they become separated. Experts
with Save the Children say to keep it simple and to practice the plan
calmly.
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Children hold a sign protesting war against Iran during an antiwar
demonstration at Dealey Plaza in downtown Dallas, Sunday, March 1,
2026. (AP Photo/LM Otero)
 Depending on how young, some
children can understand the idea that two countries are fighting.
But young children living abroad may not be able to distinguish
between what they see on screens and what is happening nearby. For
children in the U.S., the Iran war can seem much closer than it is
if they are frequently seeing images on TV or social media, meaning
they may need additional reassurance they are safe from danger.
Older children are likely to understand war and its consequences,
which means they might be more concerned and have more questions,
the American Psychological Association says. Adults may want to
consider focusing on what is within their control and giving
children some agency, such as supporting humanitarian efforts,
staying informed and addressing misinformation.
UNICEF, the United Nations agency that provides humanitarian aid and
long-term support to children worldwide, says it is OK to not have
all the answers.
In Lebanon, some families have sought refuge since Saturday in a
brick school building. Nora Ingdal, Save the Children's Lebanon
Country Director, says children there are asking several questions
about the reason for conflict and when things might return to
normal.
“This one daughter was clinging to her mother and looking up to her
mom and asking, ‘Mom, why are they fighting? Why are they attacking
us?’ The mother looks at me, but has no answer. Then she’s asking,
‘When are we gonna go home?’ Again, the mom looked at me,” Ingdal
said. “I said to her, ‘It’s all right to say that you don’t know,
you cannot guarantee anything, but I’m here with you.’”
Limit unnecessary exposure and use this as a teaching opportunity
While some global agencies say children should be aware of what is
happening in the world, experts say adults still have a
responsibility to keep youngsters safe and limit unnecessary
exposure.
Parents are encouraged to pay attention to how exposed children are
to the news. The younger the child, the less exposure they should
have, according to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network.
Some agencies recommend switching off the news entirely or limiting
conversations about distressing events with other adults if children
can hear. Others recommend using the opportunity to educate children
on the importance of news, understanding where to find accurate
facts and how to identify when something is not true or deceiving.
Save the Children says caregivers can model responsible digital
behavior, encourage kids not to spread harmful or graphic
information and remind them to think twice before sharing content
that is possibly inaccurate or emotionally triggering.
It is important for caregivers of children living in conflict zones
to remember that some kids do not know a time before war and do not
have the ability to disconnect from what is happening around them,
Sosnovenko said. That's where professional help might support
conversations and education.
“During the war, the types of people who come to us have changed,"
she said. "Thanks to the fact that the psychological culture of the
population is improving, people began to understand that therapy is
important. These days, help of a psychologist is needed by most
people and children as well.”
___
AP journalist Illia Novikov in Kyiv, Ukraine, contributed to this
story.
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