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 It’s
that time of year again……The Great Fall Caper. One must frantically
dig, search, and find the clothing items tucked away last spring and
bring them back to life for the 26/27 season.
As I pull items from my vacuum storage bags, I’m wondering what in
the world I was thinking in early April. How on earth did I think
that sweater had one more season left in it? Does anyone else think
they need an outfit that is beyond redemption to wear just in case
they decide to paint the house? I’m thinking my chances of painting
my house at my age are null and void. Still, my hand hovers as I
hold it over the garbage bag. Nope. Not even the homeless want this
one. It’s heartbreaking. That outfit and I were a fine combo at one
time. It seems downright irreverent to part with it.
What do I do with a perfectly good coat that the zipper won’t work?
It’s in good condition. It’s cute. It’s inefficient flapping open in
blizzard breezes. Again, I can’t even in good conscious give it
away. Who wants a coat with a broken zipper?
The hoarding mental trap of saying, “I might need it someday” is
silly. “It was too expensive to throw away” makes me add up the
number of times I’ve worn it, and usually it has paid for itself. I
love my broken in, comfy clothes. But…this time of year makes me
pick and choose what is acceptable to wear whilst prancing around in
public.
Then…. THEN…. the work of taking in all the lawn ornaments and
chairs. Good grief! I have a plethora of chairs with cushions that I
need to sort through. Some of the pillows will directly pass go and
not collect $200.00 as the Monopoly Board would say. Others will be
loved and tucked away in the storage shed, to be determined fit or
unfit next spring.
Chairs will be carted to the back yard and covered to keep them safe
throughout the winter weather. It’s always a great time of sadness
for me to let me yard things go. I adore sitting on the front porch
rocking and watching the hummingbirds gather. I swear I had one
individual hummingbird that befriended me this year. He would gather
nectar from the feeders or my flowers and then investigate what I
was drinking. He even became bold enough to hover over my book as if
he was curious about my reading preferences. How I am going to miss
him. I pray he will return next year.
“By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much
as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also weighs the same as two
dimes and a nickel? But then she asked a question of her own: How do
they weigh a hummingbird?” Calvin Trillin
Now is the time to shut the door that has been left open all summer.
I love Mark Twain’s quote, “Shut the door. Not that it lets in the
cold but that it lets out the coziness.”
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I’m not much on cold weather. As a matter of fact, I hate this time
of year. Yet, I must admit I do like the idea of comfy sweaters and
snuggling under the blanket while reading and watching the fireplace
radiate its flames of warmth. It just can’t be replaced with a tank
top and a fan. Although given the choice of an ice-cold Margurita on
a summer day and a pumpkin latte on a chilly afternoon, I will
choose the Margurita every time.
In the fall I rake, and rake, and rake. Yet in the spring I am
always amazed at all the leaves that are rotting and decaying in my
flower beds. Yuck! Where do they come from? They truly are
disgusting. I can get rid of anything as long as I wear a pair of
gloves on my hands and a mask over my mouth and nose. I don’t like
it, but I can do it. No matter how hard we prepare for the future,
it always ends up we have to do some nasty work to make the
forthcoming season acceptable. Such is life.
I read this online, “The cooler months encourage us to slow down,
turn inward, and prepare our minds and bodies for a period of rest
before a new cycle begins.”
Bah! Humbug! That person definitely doesn’t live in the Midwest. We
have to winterize all we own and that of our neighbors! Everything
from windows to snow blowers have to be ready to withstand old man
winter. We try to prepare so we don’t have frozen pipes, slippery
walks, and roof leaks. There is no endearing phrase that is going to
make those procedures appealing.
“For every snowflake that falls, an idiot forgets how to drive.”
Terry Pratchett
“Winter is nature’s way of saying, “’Up yours.” Robert Byrne
“The problem with winter sports is that…. follow me closely here….
they generally take place in the winter.” Dave Barry.
Here is my big beef about this current fall. Sunday, November 1,
2026, at 2:00 a.m. local time we will have to set our clocks back an
hour. Even though U.S. House passed the ‘Sunshine Protection Act’ to
make daylight saving time permanent, the bill remains stalled in the
Senate without a scheduled vote. At a state level Illinois proposals
House Bill 1400 and House Bill 5400 have stalled or remain
contingent on neighboring states, leaving the standard seasonal
change in place. Hmmmph! Tell my Lil dog, Augie that. He wants to
eat, sleep and get up at the sound of his inner clock rather than
what politician say. I vote with my dog!
Thomas Wolfe said it best, “Then summer fades and passes and October
comes. We’ll smell smoke then, and feel an unexpected sharpness, a
thrill of nervousness, swift elation, a sense of sadness and
departure.”
L. Maxine McQueen
may be contacted at
maxmac.1@juno.com
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