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It seems as if we are in for a rough
winter. I have been blessed with a neighbor that is willing to
shovel my walks and driveway. I cannot tell you the appreciation I
have for this kindness. I don’t want him doing everything, so I
tried to figure out a way to shovel the porches, stairs, and the
back yard. All I need to do in the back is the steps and a
roundabout for the dog to do his duty. My back yard is fenced in and
if I fall and break a hip there, I won’t be found until spring.
I went online to search. Isn’t it amazing how when you decide you
need something; it produces a maniacal search? Each product claims
to be the best. Each asserts superiority. Each haughtily and
pompesouly advises you against the other. The entire experience made
me sweat. I only want to stay safe in my own backyard.
I didn’t want one that I had to pull to start…. Arthritis, don’t you
know. I didn’t want one you had to mix gas and oil. That was my
Mac’s thing. I didn’t want one that took up a lot of room. Other
than what I didn’t want, I had no idea what I did require. It’s like
pinning the tail on the donkey. I closed my eyes, clicked the key
and ordered.
It arrived Christmas Eve Day. As luck would have it, my two
grandsons were there to help me open it and learn to operate it.
Isn’t it sad that unwrapping a package from Amazon, (which now
arrives in a plastic wrap that is impossible to remove) is more a
full-blown activity rather than just a quick task? Gone are the days
of cutting strings and tearing paper. Bygone eras of slicing through
tape and cardboard are but a memory. Now we must slice, cut, jab,
pull, and rip our way through some sort of plastic that can stretch
across the room and back. The animals run away in terror. I must
rest before I can continue to inspect my long-anticipated product.
Finally, I got down to the hard plastic case with my snow/leaf
blower in it. After breaking three fingernails, the boys easily
showed me how to use the case clamps. It was rather embarrassing.
Little did I know what was ahead of me. Heavy sigh.
Inside was my bright green blower…. looking like an impressive
handheld hairdryer, along with two plug in batteries, a set of
safety glasses, and a pair of gloves. Also included was a large note
encouraging the wearing of ear protecters. OH, my!
One grandson quickly snapped the battery into place as if he were
loading a gun. I imagined there to be no power in the battery at
all. I. Was. Wrong. He pointed it at me and I almost went down. It
totally took my breath away. I thought my lungs were going to burst.
As I swirled and twirled in surprise and dismay, he then aimed at
his innocent brother and blew the eyeglasses and hat off his head.
The race was on. The boys were delighted as they blew pictures off
the wall and throw rugs from the floors. They hooped and hollered in
delight. Still staggering from recovery, I couldn’t find my voice to
scold or energy to chase. I just sat and watched. It was amazing.
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One got an old metal airplane and
placed it in the palm of his hand. Then he aimed the blower at it
and let go. The plane sailed across the room and almost through the
television screen. That gave me enough adrenaline to chase them
outside.
They started using their powers for good. Piles of old wet leaves
were blown clear from neglected flower beds. Twigs and branches were
propelled into piles to be placed in city bags of refuge.
Hats continued to be blown off, shouts
of “Mine!” were heard, as well, and “Let me!”, “My turn!” It was
wonderful. No, these are not little boys. They are young men that
for a few short minutes on a Christmas Eve afternoon were
transported back to childhood. It was the best present for this
grammy ever.
It didn’t take long for the moment to be over, and the grandsons had
to leave. Now was the time for me to learn to use the new gadget. I
searched and found how to plug in the batteries to charge them.
Ear protection is a good idea. This thing has a rather high-pitched
whine to it. I have glorious hot pink “ears” from when I was a
competitive shooter. I can slap them over my stocking cap and be
ready to tackle the snow. Of course, no snow has fallen since this
grand gadget entered my home. I took to the leaves and bedraggled
foliage the boys had left behind. It’s great fun! It looks like a
jet engine on a hair dryer. I love it! It will never replace a big
snowblower or an able-bodied person with a snow shovel, but by
golly…. it’s just what the doctor ordered for me.
Finally, I decided to read the pamphlet. Quoting from under the
“Matters needing attention” section, “Do not use the air inlet close
to the hair, to avoid hair inhalation” Oh, my! I better tuck my
ponytail under my stocking hat and batten down the hatches with ear
protecters for more than one reason. “Keep out of reach of children,
infants and young children.” Uh oh. Too late. “Do not use near LPG
or other flammable products (such as volatiles, paint thinners,
sprays, etc.)” This is because idiots are stupid.
My product manual touts I purchased a
Violent Fan M1. I’m proud but rather frightened by that declaration.
I’m not sure I made the correct decision. I decided to take the
following adage to heart. “Be decisive…right or wrong, make a
decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a
decision.”
L. Maxine McQueen may be contacted at
maxmac.1@juno.com |
